Like any other new relationship, the beginning is the same where people are drive by desire, sex and lust. And, over time, the priorities begin to switch. In some cases, things die down and the partners might end up spending the night cuddling together instead of sex. Some couples might even sleep with their backs turned to each other and fully dressed in their pajamas. It is kind of weird how these things happen and mostly, it is because the effort to indulge in foreplay and sex is no longer there since some people think that they have done it all already. This is true, if the partners go on to marry and have kids. Sex now becomes a distraction and is often forgotten. At times, the other partner makes excuses about being tired, which might be true, but sex is going to take some effort for both parties. While most females want to enjoy monogamy, the stress of running a household might get in the way of performing sex as they did without the responsibilities that must be taken care of. The males in these relationships feel abandoned and might end up cheating because of the desire to get attention that they might no longer be getting from home. However, sex is not the same for everyone and every relationship is different. Some women attribute their low sex drive (all of a sudden) to low libido, but that explanation cancels out the fact that most women start their relationships with just as much excitement about sex as men do.

If you are involved in a relationship with someone and it has been a long time, then you might understand what we are talking about. You probably know that sex will and have changed. No matter what anyone says, you cannot always be humping all the way throughout the relationship. It will only take a matter of time before things begin to shift and that is not necessarily a negative thing. Having sex every day is not normal and it is not what every couple does. There are also important things in life that have to be taken care of and sometimes, the mind and body just does not want to indulge in sex. If you had sex all day long, then you would begin to miss out on important stuff like work and other essential things, even though we know that sex has its benefits too.

When you have a desire for sex, it gives you the impetus to have physical contact with your partner. In so doing, you will have to feel a connection. You also have to nurture each other mentally and physically and use this as a protective and safety guard around your relationship. When you have an intimate relationship and the sexual desire for each other is fading, you might end up living like roommates or associates. It can creep up on you without even realizing it. You might still have deep love and bond for each other and even have sex at times, but the heated sexual desire might not still be there.

It is best to understand the depth of your desire and find ways that you can get it back, if it is waning. While, it might not be as intense as it once was because of stress, life experiences, work, kids and hormonal changes, there are ways to fix it, if you really want to, but it is going to take a lot of maneuvering and effort on both your parts. However, if you allow it to wane too long, it is going to be harder to get that intimacy back, especially if the connection loosens and sex does not meet the same intensity as it used to.

If you let everything slide and not take it up as a priority, your sex life and relationship will loosen its protective guard and things will begin to chip away slowly. The thing that made your relationship special and kept you both going will suddenly stop. While you might spend time with your friends and family; laughing and sharing special time together, nothing can compare to having sex with a partner that you are connected with. Sex is a good way that you can stay connected and improve your relationship and get to know each other. It is a way to nurture and build on the intimacy that you already have and so when this is gone, it seems as if you have lost almost everything. So, if sex is waning in your relationship, it is worth the effort to give it some dire attention before it lapses. When desire fades, it takes place slowly over time, if you are not careful. If your sex life has gotten predictable, that is another way to know that it needs attention. It is both your responsibility to do something about it before it is too late. Don't assume that it will get better on its own because it is going to take work to get back on track.

For sex to wane in a long term relationship, it doesn't mean that it is normal. You are the one that determines your relationship. And more importantly, everyone has different levels of sex drive and need for sex. For some people, there is a need to have sex at least once per week and for others, it is more often. It all depends on the relationship, the person, things happening in the relationship and other factors. There are some people that consider 'once a week' sex to be a warning sign that something is wrong with the relationship. For others, this is quite OK.

For the woman, there are certain things that can occur to let her lose interest and so, there has to be an understanding on the man's part. A woman's hormone will usually come into play. Her time of the month is another issue and this is unavoidable. A woman might have mood swings a week before her menstrual period, which is known as PMS and most men need to be educated about this. Sex has to be a joint venture and the conditions, emotions and physical fortitude as well as connection has to be right or it will turn out to be a quickie that might not be enough to fully satisfy both or either of the partners.

Some men find that they are unable to perform as much as they used to. There are different things that could have caused that. Stress is one major factor for both men and women. Mental health and exhaustion are sometimes a result of the stress. These might have contributed to the low sex drive for men. Depending on how old the man is, it could be that he is experiencing impotence at his age and both partners have to find a way around this including sex enhancement pills recommended by a physician. The low sex drive for the man can frustrate the women, especially if she has a higher sex drive. In such cases, it is best to have a sit down discussion to talk about finding a solution. If not, then this can go unresolved and subsequently cause cheating and possibly an end of the relationship. So, if you are a man and you feel stressed out and it is causing you to lose interest in sex, you should find a way to deal with your stress and not take it into the bedroom or you will suffer the consequences.

Partners who engage in sexual activity do so because they love having sex with each other, they are in the mood, they are in love and it is only natural or they just want t let off some sexual steam, especially the man. Find a reason why you have to indulge in sex and it will give you the impetus to do so when that feeling and reason comes on. And in many cases, all it takes to start a sexual encounter is enjoyable foreplay and being open to trying new things, even if it means using sex toys to stir the fire or turn up the temperature. Even if your sex drive is lower than your partner, all of these things can help you to get in the mood and subsequently enjoy good sex.

Touching, fondling and kissing are other ways to maintain the intimacy in the relationship. Many partners go through their relationship; only touching when it is time to have sex. If you do that, then sex is going to become a chore. Touching is a good way to communicate that you care about each other and want to be with each other. And, you should not wait until you are in the bedroom to touch each other. In fact, if you have children, you should let them see you touching and kissing each other. It should be a precursor for intimacy, foreplay and eventually sex when the time comes.

If you are the one in the relationship that has the low sex drive or the opposite, there has to be compromise. This is good to maintain a healthy relationship. There should also be a level of respect for each other; enough to want to work things out when you see a problem with your sex life. If the person with the low sex drive is having an issue, then the other partner should be compassionate and supportive. With respect, it is easier to accommodate each other and be patient while the problem is resolved. And compromising does not mean that you have to feel forced to indulge in a sexual act or wait it out. It means that your relationship is not all about sex and you willing to get through it by asking for professional help or try to work it out together.

In some cases, the reason for a waning sex life is that there are other issues in the relationship. And, these issues might be deep. One of the reasons this could be happening is that one partner might be verbally and/or physically abusive. Which partner is going to want to have sex with the other, if they are always feeling abused? In this case, it is best to seek professional counseling for the issues in the relationship and don't use sex as a band-aid because it won't be the ultimate solution. The problem is going to be a revolving one, if it is not addressed.

If you are in a relationship and have been for a while, it is important to schedule and prioritize your sex life. You could plan a date with your partner and then let sex be the icing on the cake at the end of the night. You no longer have the luxury of being spontaneous about having sex all the time. Other responsibilities can hamper you. When you have a healthy relationship, you will make it a priority to include sex into your life, despite those important responsibilities, but you shouldn't make it seem as if you are just going through the motion. It should be a joint effort and an enjoyable one. You have to cultivate a nurturing sense of intimacy; enough to improve your sex life and strengthen your love and respect for each other. When you plan your sexual encounters, it doesn't mean that it has to be less exciting.