When someone says, 'I'd love to date [her or him], but she's out of my league', it implies that people are on various levels of datability, and that it's pretty much impossible to get any higher, that you would have to somehow be a totally different person to be able to reach another, higher level, where supposedly more exciting, more successful, and more attractive people are.

But this is all a myth! Because just as often as you'll hear someone say 'that person is out of my league', you'll hear another person ask, when they see a couple, 'why the heck is she with him?' (or 'he with her'?) And the answer is because there are no leagues, that it's definitely possible to date someone who you or other people thought you never had a chance with.

We're not going to deny that physical attractiveness plays a role in that initial impression, but it is certainly not the one thing that brings people together (it's certainly not the thing that keeps people together). Doesn't matter who you are, are who are looking to date, you always have to remember the two C's: Confidence and Comfort. If you have those two qualities when people meet you, your chances of dating anyone will rise dramatically.

There is definitely a lot of work to be done, but that's true of anything that's hard to accomplish in life, including dating people who might not have given you the time of day at one point.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, look beyond your physical attributes and try to imagine your body language and how communicate with other people. That says a lot more about you than high cheekbones any day. But no matter how you assess yourself in the mirror, the most important thing is to be honest through and through. Don't try to tell yourself you act one way when you really don't, or that this is what you believe when it isn't.

A true self-assessment is the right place to build a foundation of the new you. Ask yourself: What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? How can you maximize the former and minimize the latter? (or even better, turn your weaknesses into strengths. Don't think of yourself as 'shy', but as the 'strong, silent type)

Part of being confident is not to be deflated and disappointed when you do get rejected. And that will happen for a variety of reasons, and not simply because of anything to do with leagues. The person might already be a relationship, or not be interested in dating right now, or didn't come to this place (club, party, sporting event, etc) to meet anyone else. The trick is to not get dejected and instead try again (not necessarily with the person who just turned you down, though). Perseverance, after all, is another sign of both confidence and comfort.

Okay, let's be honest (it was the title of the last section, after all). When people say 'out of my league', they typically mean something to do with physical attractiveness of the other person. But why not use another measuring stick, like compatibility. It might sound blander, but it's more important to the health of the relationship than if you both love looking at each other naked and nothing else in common.

If you find someone that you get along with immediately, then everything falls into place that much quicker. You'll probably even begin to find that much more attractive if you can have a really fun conversation minutes after meeting them.

You can go up to a beautiful woman or dashing man, and even after a minute or two of small talk, you might their actual personality completely incompatible and different from yours, to the point where you could barely get through having drinks with them.

This isn't trying to say that only caring about looks is superficial, but that it's a pretty weak foundation to build a relationship on, whether short term or long term. If you want to look for someone with you can have fun with, the best way to start to find someone who finds the same sort of things as you fun to do.

First impressions are always huge, whether online or in person, and while that certainly means looking good (which doesn't just mean basic physical features, but also your sense of style and presentation), never forget the importance of body language and the exact sort of things that you are actually saying. Being able to have a really captivating conversation with the person, as well as just being genuinely charming is a huge factor.

Now it's obvious that being confident and comfortable in social situations doesn't come naturally, so that means it requires practice. Unfortunately, this is something that can be particularly awkward to fail at early on, so part of accomplishing this is getting used to not succeeding, dusting yourself off, and trying again. And this doesn't have to exactly be trying to flirt with somebody. You can even try to be more a social person at parties with all sorts of people. The key is then to bring all the lessons you've learned talking with strangers and then applying it to the one moment that really counts, when you want to talk to that person across the bar who you never would have felt comfortable doing so before.

While the image in our heads is meeting a beautiful woman or handsome man at a fancy bar, the truth is that nowadays so many more relationships begin online. There are many different dating sites and hookup apps, so of them catering to very specific members or groups. It might be worth your while to spread your wings and join more than one site or app to find the exact sort of person you're looking for.

You can increase the chances of this happening by making sure that the profile you create is not only full of a very positive and exciting version of yourself, but also making sure the photos you have on it are of high quality. A quick selfie with bad lighting is something that most people will always skip over, so if you put more effort into that alone, then you will increase the chances of someone spending a bit more time on the rest of your profile. This is your chance to dazzle them not only with who you are, but who you want to be, and the things you want to accomplish. If they're inspired simply by reading your profile, then it's more likely that they'll reach out and want to chat or even meet you in person.

You are essentially trying to create a new and improved version of yourself, but you definitely have to be realistic, and know that a lot of these changes won't happen quickly, and might not happen to the extent that you are hoping for. While you might ultimately be happy with the changes you've made, and truly think you are a better person than you were before, that doesn't necessarily mean that you will easily be able to suddenly date people who you assumed were 'out of your league'.

Even if you are trying to look beyond some superficial attributes, other people - including the ones you might be trying to meet - might not. This means that you still need to be prepared to accept the fact that people still might turn you down. But this should by no means make you think that all your work has been for nothing. Part of your change should be focused on positivity and not giving up, and that should remain part of you going forward, no matter what.

While we are certainly trying to make it clear that appearances aren't everything, and that you don't have to look the part of a model to date another model, there are many things you can do to look better physically that can really help you.

Regular exercise is not just a way to stay healthy, but a way to look good. And just knowing that you're exercising and getting your body into better shape does wonders for your self-esteem and confidence. Going to the gym or yoga studio regularly is also a great place to meet people who you may have considered 'out of your league', and now you have a chance to strike up a conversation about a shared activity (exercising), and at a location that doesn't have as much pressure as a bar or a party might.

It is worth mentioning this because many other aspect of yourself are not as easy to change as simply exercising more and eating right, at least compared to getting better at casual conversation or being more confident meeting new people. Which is not to say that you shouldn't try these things. In fact, there are plenty of social groups and actives that you can join, from board games to ballroom dancing to trivia nights. While this might not seem like the biggest deal, it's these little gestures that can end up making a difference, since it can improve your ability to socialize in a more step by step process.

The problem with finding people online - especially those who might appear to be particularly attractive or popular - is that not everything is as it seems. While putting your offering up the best online version of yourself is a good idea, it's important to note that there people out there who might try to exploit or take advantage of you with fake or misleading profiles. Certainly an attractive person plying you with compliments might be a thrill, especially if they seem to offer to make plans to meet in person, but make sure you don't do anything too rash.

Sharing personal information about yourself to someone you have not actually met is never a good idea, and it's important to remember that if someone on a dating site is asking you this, it is, in some ways the equivalent of a total stranger asking you for that information as you walk down the street. And while this may sound obvious now, if you been texting someone for a few days who are you quickly becoming smitten with because they are telling you everything you want to hear, you might not be thinking with such a clear head.

Despite this, you shouldn't shy away from meeting people online, since it's a great way to show people a non-superficial side of you. As long as you are a little bit careful, there's no reason at all why you begin a great relationship on dating sites or apps, no matter what league you think you are in or out of.

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