So many people get into all kinds of relationships because they want to feel needed. Many do so to belong and boast to friends about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. Sometimes, it is for selfish reasons and other times it is not to feel lonely. However, for those who choose toxic relationships, you wonder why they do it. In some cases, the relationship might not start out being toxic, but as they get to know each other, it becomes evident that both or one individual has issues. But, instead of leaving the relationship, they stay together for different reasons. Once the relationship becomes toxic, it is evident that it will be one person being abusive and controlling. However, some people choose to let it go for as long as it takes to become harder to leave the situation.

Many people are just attached to the fantasy of being in a relationship or in some cases; they feel as if they are unable to move on. Some people hang in there because they believe that the other person will change. However, this is not the case and the longer that you stay, the more the emotional cost to you. Some people date the wrong people out of desperation and not stopping to find out more about the person. And there are some people that don't know their worth and value and settle for less than they deserve. It is that simple. There will be red flags to pay attention to, but many people don't want to face the truth until it gets out of hand and hard to fix.

When you can come to the realization that you should be in control of your life and that you are worth more than you are valued by someone else, then it will make you want to set the bar higher than it usually is. You will refrain from settling for someone who does not love and appreciate you like how you should be treated. If you see that you are being taken advantage of and being belittled, it is time to rethink your position and break away. If not, your life will be in misery and you will find yourself locked into a toxic situation.

No one can decide the path you should take in life, but you. The bottom line is that you should become familiar with yourself - totally and thoroughly. This should take place even before you start dating or seeking love, if you want to have healthier relationships. You have to first have a close relationship with your own self.

There is no way that you can control your life, if you do not understand or know why you make certain decisions. If you can come to a better understanding of those reasons, then you will know the best choices to make in the future and you will avoid making the worst. You will start to seek relationships that are nurturing, peaceful and genuine and you will do so on your own terms. If you are looking for a good life, then this is what you will do for your own peace of mind. So, be honest with yourself about why you gravitate towards the toxic person when there are many others with better intentions. Could it be something in your past that triggers this decision? It is best to find out before you even go into another relationship. Let us look at some of those main reasons why some people find themselves in toxic relationships.

Most people tend to want to stick to what they are familiar with and so end up in one toxic relationship after the other. It is like misery loving its own company. And so, your choice is to go back to the area of familiarity, even if you know it is bad for you. That is the most unfortunate thing for many people. And, if you don't value yourself, you will allow someone else to devalue you. If you always hear that you are dumb or stupid, you may start to believe it and make dumb or stupid choices. If you believe that you deserve such treatment, then that is the general direction you will take. In a very strange way, the toxic relationship becomes more comforting to you because you know what to expect.

Many times you might fall into a toxic relationship because of your past and what you might have gone through as a child. It could have started with a parent or family member who constantly screamed at you; telling you that you are no good or you won't amount to anything good. It made you feel less of a person and you did not love yourself because of how you were treated as a child. You grew up with a lack of self esteem and confidence. Your adult choices are going to reveal what you experienced as a child. It could be another scenario where you saw how bad your dad treated your mom or vice versa. That is the only kind of relationship you know and so you will tend to emulate it when you grow up. Some people grow up needing therapy to help them get rid of the past beliefs that they had as children, but that is hardly the case. There are many people that walk around living out their past.

You might be settling for what you are accustomed to and not giving other people a chance. When you date, you may be looking for a certain stereotype that you are familiar with, but if you want to go outside of the norm, you should throw away that old checklist and try something new. Even though, this is common sense, there are many people that resort to the old stuff. If it is not working, then it is time to discover new ways to having a relationship with someone who respects you. First, you have to define what you are truly looking for in a relationship and how you want your needs to be fulfilled. Armed with this information, it is easier to find a person other than the toxic individual who is not interested in your personal needs.

Sometimes, you might be setting for the worst choice without not even being too conscious of it. Rather than waiting to choose the right person to date, this is the kind of person who will just settle for the first person that comes along. You really don't think too much about it. You are eager to date and then just act on impulse. And that is how so many people will find themselves in a toxic relationship. You cannot be too eager or too desperate or you will end up in the same cycle of toxic relationships. It is time to break that curse by controlling your life and actively seeking a partner that meets a certain high standard that you should come to expect. If he is not meeting your high standards, then you should not even give him the time a day. It is OK to pass someone over, if you spell trouble. Figure out what makes a high standard for you and do not accept anything less. This will improve your chances of getting someone who actually cares for you.

What on earth are you thinking, if you believe that you can change someone from operating in a toxic energy? Do you think that they really want to change? If they wanted to change, don't you think those changes would likely have taken place before you came along? Those are the type of questions that you should try to find the answers for. You can never change someone who doesn't want to change. That toxic partner may have developed those bad habits over time and it could be from past experiences and so the problem might be deeper than you think and could need professional expertise.

One of the things that allow people to stay in toxic relationships or to choose a toxic partner is out of fear. And it is not just any fear. It is the fear of being alone. In such a situation, this person will literally do almost anything to avoid being alone forever. This kind of fear is real and it will drive a person to make the wrong choices. If you get too desperate about not being alone, it will drive you to accept the first person that comes in your orbit, even if they are not the best choice for you. You will often attach yourself and before you know it, you are caught up in a bad situation. And then, it becomes a cycle where you end up doing the same thing over and over again. It is best to begin working on yourself before getting into these relationships. Find out why you have this fear of living alone and then it will bring you closer to the truth and that is when you will know where to look for the best solution to your fears. Getting rid of those fears is the closest thing to brining you to that solution. You have to get to that place of confidence where you can enjoy your own company. In so doing, you will find that you really do not have to live with someone to feel valued. You will approach dating differently - with no desperation that this is the last person on the planet and you must have them. Rather than always looking for a partner or love; just to quell your fear of being alone, you should consider working on getting fit, improving your education, taking on a hobby and getting involved in things that you are passionate about and that will change your outlook on life.

Once you get to know yourself, it is a good way for you to feel complete and so by then, you will know for sure that you don't need someone in your life to be complete. You already are. As you get to love yourself, you will never feel lonely again and there won't be a need to always have someone around. When you nurture yourself and get to that point of being happy with your life, it will be easier for you to pick and refuse people who do not add value to your life. You should first start with fostering independence and then move to enjoying your independence before you invite someone else in your life. You have to be able to stand on your own first and discovering yourself to be able to make the right choice in partners. You don't want to start from a desperate and fearful place. It will only end up in a bad situation. You have to develop self respect, self reliance, self worth, self confidence and self esteem. It is all about self first!

Some people are so emotionally scarred that they look for people who are similar in nature. It could be that people end up in toxic relationships because the person makes them feel good because they can relate to them. And, the narcissistic or toxic person knows exactly what to say and do to make you feel as if you are being loved and care for. And so, it might feel good for a minute; enough to make you feel as if this is the right relationship and then later you find out that you were being duped. So, pay attention to the warning signs and if you are not getting your needs met, it might be time to rethink your position.